Jmas Fan Fiction

A Step Beyond
by
Jmas

"You okay for this?"

Daniel looks at me with that "dumb question' glare and falls into step behind me, not even bothering to put his pack on his back.

God, my head hurts....

I glance back at Daniel. He's walking with his eyes half-closed, like the sun's too bright for him. At least I've got my shades...

I feel like a total asshole...

Plant boy?

Where the hell did that come from?

I wanted to reach out and pull those words back as soon as I'd said them, but it was too late....Don't know that I liked that "arrogant and condescending" bit though...

Arrogant...I might agree to that. I've earned the right to be a little arrogant from time to time. You don't live as long as I have--doing what I do--without getting a little arrog...er, self-assured...

Condescending, though... Am I ? Is that how Daniel sees me?

My head hurts too much for that kind of deep thought. I'll save it for later...

Daniel's stumbling a little, so I call a break. I want to say something, anything, to make sure he's okay...but I'm afraid if I open my mouth I'll stick my big foot in it again.

Daniel just sits there with his head down, rubbing his eyes under his glasses. I guess he's not okay...
I've never had a headache like this without having a darn good time to make it worth it. I sit down across from Daniel and give him the 'look'. He's got to look at me now...the 'look' has been known to melt junior officers at 20 paces...and over the years I've got it down to a fine art.

Of course, there is that well-established fact...Daniel isn't military; never has been, never will be. Even if he was, I don't think the look would have much effect on him, he's just too...Daniel....

Daniel will never be anyone's second-fiddle....I don't think he even realizes how independently single-minded he is...When it comes to himself, he doesn't think...he just is...

And most of the time...when my head doesn't feel like it's trying to separate from the rest of me...I can almost appreciate that. Not that it doesn't drive me crazy at the best of times, but it does make me think...if only in some vague hope of out-thinking him.

As if...

The day I out-think Daniel I am going to throw the biggest party in a life full of big Irish-style celebrations.

When it comes to strategy and military stuff, I've got him hands-down, but that meaning of life scientific stuff...I just can't wrap my poor old brain around much of that. He tries, he really does, but he just can't get me up to his speed...

Pain in the ass knowing your best friend can think his way out of a dozen paper bags while you're still working on one...

I make a kind of grunting sound to get Daniel's attention and indicate that we should get moving again...it's a long walk back to the Stargate. He nods briefly and stands, but sways a little. I catch him under his elbow and hold on until he regains his balance, earning me a barely audible "thanks."

That's a good sign....

I don't feel much like talking either, but any other time Daniel would be talking my ear off about those white, naked...whatevers...

I'd feel better if he was talking, then I could tell him to shut up and I'd know everything was back to normal....

I've really got to learn to keep my trap shut. I can blame this one on whatever it is that's making us feel so sick, but a lot of times I know I go over the line where Daniel's concerned. He comes up with some real mind-benders sometimes and I know as often as not he's been right, but I'm an old-fashioned kind of guy...things are supposed to act and react in certain ways and it bugs me when they don't.

Sometimes it bugs me a lot. I guess that's why Daniel can bug me a lot...he sure doesn't fit into anybody's notion of predictable behavior...

Daniel can shift perspective on a dime and I don't think he's got a vengeful bone in his body, except maybe where the Goa'uld are concerned, otherwise he'll bend over backwards to see things from the other guy's viewpoint...

So yeah, he can make me a little crazy jumping in front of danger with both eyes wide open, but most of the time it works for him, and for us...

He looks pale back there, his eyes are completely shut now...he must staying on the path by listening to my own unsteady footsteps. Like I said, I'd feel better if he was talking...

We're a couple of miles away from the Stargate now, another hour should do it. Hopefully Doc can figure out what's going on with us. The more we walk, the sicker I feel...major hangover stuff....

I hear a thud behind me, Daniel's down on his knees with the dry heaves...I go back to him and hesitantly start rubbing his back until it passes, I don't know if he's still mad at me...if he ever was...but he's sick now and needs the help, whether he likes it or not.

I pull out my canteen and wet a bandanna for him to wash his face. He sits down where he is, breathing deeply and nods a thank you. He's as white as those alien...guys...

I sit down beside him and take a drink out of the canteen then offer it to Daniel. He thinks about it for a minute, but shakes his head. Guess he doesn't want to put anything in his stomach to come back at him later.

I want to say something...I ought to say something...but...what?

No, Daniel, I don't really think you're flaky, I'm sorry I called you plant boy, I don't know what got into me...

Not gonna happen...some other place...some other time...maybe....

Maybe it's just me, maybe it's one of those alpha-male things all the psych's talk about, but that kind of stuff just doesn't come out easy...probably never will...

Daniel doesn't have trouble saying he's sorry...some days every other word out of his mouth is 'sorry'...but he does have trouble relating to people, or maybe just me, on a personal, okay...emotional, level. Maybe it's a "guy thing", like Carter says. I just know that while we talk about just about anything...hell, I've told him stuff I never told anybody before... we kind of clam up when things get too deep.

God, this kind of stuff makes my head hurt on a good day...

I hold out a hand to ask if he's up to going on and he nods, grabbing my arm to pull himself up...and bends almost double with the pain...

"I'm okay..." The first real words he's said since we left the ghost guys' hovel-thingy.

"Uh-huh" is my brilliant reply as I reach out to grab onto his arm. He gives me another glare, but he's smart enough to know he needs help...and, like me, he knows if we start saying too much this pain in our heads will probably make us say more than we want to....

So on we go, weaving like a couple of Airmen on their first weekend leave, but before too long I can see the Stargate looming on the horizon. I look over at Daniel to see if he's noticed and catch him looking at me with a kind of puzzled guilt....

I should have known.

All this time I've been worried about him being mad at me, he's been thinking it's all his fault. Must be one of his "sorry" days...

I just shake my head and guide him over to the DHD.

Later, like it or not, we have got to talk.... *fin*

The End

 

 

 

 

 

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